reverse proxy software

This may not quite be the exactly right group but I'm having trouble
finding an appropriate group/forum...

I'm looking at web reverse proxy software for load balancing/failover.
There are two promising bits of software in particular, Pound and
HaProxy, but both seem to lack something I need:

Pound - does virtual hosting, great; but config reloading is brutal -
we'd lose the proxy for a second or two, plus any existing connections
at the time. (Config reloading is going to be necessary sometimes!)

HaProxy - has kinder config reloading, but no virtual hosting.

(By "virtual hosting" I mean the the ability to farm off requests to
servers or groups of servers based on the hostname being requested, i.e.
www.siteA.com would be handled by different backend servers to
www.siteB.com.)

Any ideas anyone?
thanks!