REPOST: Screw Linux, I'm going back to Windows!

Originally posted on: 2002-08-21

I would like a distro of Linux that is easy to install (with Windows
on the same computer). I don't want to learn the easy to
understand concept of partitions, such as primary, extended
and logical. If I can't see them, they ain't there!

I want this Linux distro to look and feel like Windows exactly.

I want this Linux distro to be easily configured and installed
(no brainer) like Windows.

I want this Linux distro to be TOTALLY secure *cough like
Windows. *wink *wink

I want this Linux distro to be easily run with no documentation to
read, since all those freakin' O'Reilly books are so God damn
expensive, and the animals on the covers scare me.

I want this Linux distro to recognize all my hardware, including
my GeForce 4 video card. And if it doesn't I want someone to
explain to me how to do this, since I don't want to go to the
hardware homepage and actually do a search for the support
page that tells me how to do this with Linux.

I want this Linux distro to look all GUI for me, and I don't want
to bother understanding the X Window System. Because that
word, X Window System, makes me think of Windows and that
gets me all excited and I get really confused.

I want this Linux distro to come on one CD only, since Red Hat
has like 5 ISO CDs and I'm too lazy to read the readme file to figure
out which ones to download.

I want this Linux distro to be easily run as a network but I don't
want to know about any protocols, ip addressing, routers, switches,
ipchains, iptables, or dns servers....But I consider myself an expert
because I can telnet to a smtp server and send fake e-mail as
(E-Mail Removed).

I want this Linux distro to have open source software on it only,
since closed source is evil. And I want this software to be
completely supported by the vendor/author so I can complain
when their free software doesn't work for me.

I want this Linux distro to be fully supported by rpms, since .tar
and .gz for that matter are funny to me and complicated to work
with...and a Linux distro that doesn't require i386 and i686 stuff
since I have a Dell.

I want this Linux distro to be command line free. I mean, come
on, which is it -help or --help or -h?!

I want this Linux distro to be able to play my Windows games and
run my Windows programs on it, and if WINE doesn't support them,
I want to know the "secret" that all you Linux hackers know in order
to run them. Come on, you guys know how!

I want this Linux distro to be easily upgradeable to the newest and
greatest kernel, even though I don't need it since I haven't installed
any new hardware or software that isn't supported by the kernel I
already use, and there are no known security issues with the
current kernel I'm using...I still want to upgrade.

I want this Linux distro to be the best distro out there, why? I don't
know why or what I'm looking for exactly...I just want the best one
out there....and I want it to look like Windows.



Andrew
www.wbglinks.net

postscript: Yes, I'm bored and looking to waste time. And if you
think I'm serious or this isn't funny, then go blow monkeys.

comp.os.linux.advocacy added; followups set exclusively thereto.

In comp.os.linux.setup, (E-Mail Removed)
<(E-Mail Removed)>
wrote
on Sun, 18 Jul 2004 20:25:05 -0700
<(E-Mail Removed)>:
> Originally posted on: 2002-08-21

Which makes it newer than some of the trolls' news items.

>
> I would like a distro of Linux that is easy to install (with Windows
> on the same computer). I don't want to learn the easy to
> understand concept of partitions, such as primary, extended
> and logical. If I can't see them, they ain't there!

One of the more interesting problems with any Linux distro is the
allocation of the proper amount of space on the disk for /,
/var, /usr, /home, etc. It's a bit tricky for a first-timer,
and I suspect most people simply say "oh, just put most of it
on /, with 2 * RAM for the swap partition". Certainly that's
simple enough.

>
> I want this Linux distro to look and feel like Windows exactly.

Warts and all, presumably. Or is it really hard for some
people to handle mouse buttons?

>
> I want this Linux distro to be easily configured and installed
> (no brainer) like Windows.

Including reboots?

>
> I want this Linux distro to be TOTALLY secure *cough like
> Windows. *wink *wink

Just open a port if you want to feel really (in)secure.
(Of course, if one really wants to get cute, one can set up
a "honeypot". That's a system which looks like a Windows
system but cannot be compromised; instead, it only looks
like it's compromised, while the hacker's access point
is logged for future action. I can't say much about such
tactics (I don't set up honeypots) but apparently there's
a few out there.)

>
> I want this Linux distro to be easily run with no documentation to
> read, since all those freakin' O'Reilly books are so God damn
> expensive, and the animals on the covers scare me.

Don't forget the 'man' command. That's just so ... difficult ...
to remember. Lessee, what was 'man' short for again?
Not automatic... :-)

>
> I want this Linux distro to recognize all my hardware, including
> my GeForce 4 video card. And if it doesn't I want someone to
> explain to me how to do this, since I don't want to go to the
> hardware homepage and actually do a search for the support
> page that tells me how to do this with Linux.

Not to mention sound cards, network cards, CD-ROMs, etc.

>
> I want this Linux distro to look all GUI for me, and I don't want
> to bother understanding the X Window System. Because that
> word, X Window System, makes me think of Windows and that
> gets me all excited and I get really confused.

Just remember, 'Ex-Windows System'.

>
> I want this Linux distro to come on one CD only, since Red Hat
> has like 5 ISO CDs and I'm too lazy to read the readme file to figure
> out which ones to download.
>
> I want this Linux distro to be easily run as a network but I don't
> want to know about any protocols, ip addressing, routers, switches,
> ipchains, iptables, or dns servers....But I consider myself an expert
> because I can telnet to a smtp server and send fake e-mail as
> (E-Mail Removed).

Woo.

>
> I want this Linux distro to have open source software on it only,
> since closed source is evil. And I want this software to be
> completely supported by the vendor/author so I can complain
> when their free software doesn't work for me.
>
> I want this Linux distro to be fully supported by rpms, since .tar
> and .gz for that matter are funny to me and complicated to work
> with...and a Linux distro that doesn't require i386 and i686 stuff
> since I have a Dell.

Dang. You won't like Slackware, Debian, or Gentoo then.
Slackware (last I looked) used very raw .tgz or .tbz;
Debian uses .deb; Gentoo uses .ebuild and compiles
everything on *your* computer. Oh, the horrors of choice!

Someone's probably even considering using .cab files for a
Linux distro, just to be perverse.

>
> I want this Linux distro to be command line free. I mean, come
> on, which is it -help or --help or -h?!

Or '-?'. '/' and '\' are *so* much simpler. Especially when
one tries to 'cd \\nodename\share' -- wait, does that work?

>
> I want this Linux distro to be able to play my Windows games and
> run my Windows programs on it, and if WINE doesn't support them,
> I want to know the "secret" that all you Linux hackers know in order
> to run them. Come on, you guys know how!

Heck yeah. Dual-boot. :-) Or use WinE, QEMU or VmWare.

>
> I want this Linux distro to be easily upgradeable to the newest and
> greatest kernel, even though I don't need it since I haven't installed
> any new hardware or software that isn't supported by the kernel I
> already use, and there are no known security issues with the
> current kernel I'm using...I still want to upgrade.

Yeah, one really misses those occasional random reboots
(either because of a BSOD or because of Yet Another
Security Update); this is the best Linux can do.

>
> I want this Linux distro to be the best distro out there, why? I don't
> know why or what I'm looking for exactly...I just want the best one
> out there....and I want it to look like Windows.
>

Well, the problem is that there are too many
editors for Linux for it to do that. Lessee...vi
(vile/vim/vi/elvis/nvi/???), emacs (emacs/xemacs/???),
jedit (an interesting Java variant), jed, joe, pico, nano,
kile, ted, gedit, kate, and yes, for those who absolutely can't
live without (a variant of) it -- gnotepad+.

The line blurs a bit when one includes word processors and
typesetters, but there's also abiword, Open Office, and koffice.
Lyx is an interesting TeX frontend; Amaya is still around as
an HTML editor. (Bluefish is a text editor with templates;
it's useful but somewhat limited.)

>
>
> Andrew
> www.wbglinks.net
>
> postscript: Yes, I'm bored and looking to waste time. And if you
> think I'm serious or this isn't funny, then go blow monkeys.

Somehow, I'm not sure inflatable simians is that much of a market. :-)

--
#191, (E-Mail Removed) -- insert random monkey business here
It's still legal to go .sigless.

(E-Mail Removed) wrote:

> Originally posted on: 2002-08-21
>
> I would like a distro of Linux that is easy to install (with Windows
> on the same computer). I don't want to learn the easy to
> understand concept of partitions, such as primary, extended
> and logical. If I can't see them, they ain't there!
>
> I want this Linux distro to look and feel like Windows exactly.
>
> I want this Linux distro to be easily configured and installed
> (no brainer) like Windows.

Try www.knoppix.com and download one CD and boot up
without installing software onto disk
fully working GNU/Linux.

If you are student, search google for the Quantian DVD
variant as it has symbolic equation solver like xmaxima
and chemistry program like rasmol to view molecules.

J

e7 wrote on 19.07.2004 17:58:

> (E-Mail Removed) wrote:
>
>
>>Originally posted on: 2002-08-21
>>
>>I would like a distro of Linux that is easy to install (with Windows
>>on the same computer). I don't want to learn the easy to
>>understand concept of partitions, such as primary, extended
>>and logical. If I can't see them, they ain't there!
>>
>>I want this Linux distro to look and feel like Windows exactly.
>>
>>I want this Linux distro to be easily configured and installed
>>(no brainer) like Windows.
>
>
> Try www.knoppix.com and download one CD and boot up
> without installing software onto disk
> fully working GNU/Linux.
>
> If you are student, search google for the Quantian DVD
> variant as it has symbolic equation solver like xmaxima
> and chemistry program like rasmol to view molecules.
>

Hmm there's at least one out there who missed the punch

Walter

(E-Mail Removed) wrote:

> Originally posted on: 2002-08-21
>
> I would like a distro of Linux that is easy to install (with Windows
> on the same computer). I don't want to learn the easy to
> understand concept of partitions, such as primary, extended
> and logical. If I can't see them, they ain't there!
>
> I want this Linux distro to look and feel like Windows exactly.
>
> I want this Linux distro to be easily configured and installed
> (no brainer) like Windows.
>
> I want this Linux distro to be TOTALLY secure *cough like
> Windows. *wink *wink
>
> I want this Linux distro to be easily run with no documentation to
> read, since all those freakin' O'Reilly books are so God damn
> expensive, and the animals on the covers scare me.
>
> I want this Linux distro to recognize all my hardware, including
> my GeForce 4 video card. And if it doesn't I want someone to
> explain to me how to do this, since I don't want to go to the
> hardware homepage and actually do a search for the support
> page that tells me how to do this with Linux.
>
> I want this Linux distro to look all GUI for me, and I don't want
> to bother understanding the X Window System. Because that
> word, X Window System, makes me think of Windows and that
> gets me all excited and I get really confused.
>
> I want this Linux distro to come on one CD only, since Red Hat
> has like 5 ISO CDs and I'm too lazy to read the readme file to figure
> out which ones to download.
>
> I want this Linux distro to be easily run as a network but I don't
> want to know about any protocols, ip addressing, routers, switches,
> ipchains, iptables, or dns servers....But I consider myself an expert
> because I can telnet to a smtp server and send fake e-mail as
> (E-Mail Removed).
>
> I want this Linux distro to have open source software on it only,
> since closed source is evil. And I want this software to be
> completely supported by the vendor/author so I can complain
> when their free software doesn't work for me.
>
> I want this Linux distro to be fully supported by rpms, since .tar
> and .gz for that matter are funny to me and complicated to work
> with...and a Linux distro that doesn't require i386 and i686 stuff
> since I have a Dell.
>
> I want this Linux distro to be command line free. I mean, come
> on, which is it -help or --help or -h?!
>
> I want this Linux distro to be able to play my Windows games and
> run my Windows programs on it, and if WINE doesn't support them,
> I want to know the "secret" that all you Linux hackers know in order
> to run them. Come on, you guys know how!
>
> I want this Linux distro to be easily upgradeable to the newest and
> greatest kernel, even though I don't need it since I haven't installed
> any new hardware or software that isn't supported by the kernel I
> already use, and there are no known security issues with the
> current kernel I'm using...I still want to upgrade.
>
> I want this Linux distro to be the best distro out there, why? I don't
> know why or what I'm looking for exactly...I just want the best one
> out there....and I want it to look like Windows.
>
>
>
> Andrew
> www.wbglinks.net
>
> postscript: Yes, I'm bored and looking to waste time. And if you
> think I'm serious or this isn't funny, then go blow monkeys.
Well, I think you should defenetly do go back to windows. But ask yourself,
which of the features you requested you will find there. Alex

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1

Walter,

I suggest you do more homework when looking into what OS you will
operate from. If you want a desktop distro of linux only look at
favored desktop flavor of which there are only a few. I you wish to use
linux the same way someone would use Windows your problem is obvious.
Use Winblows for desktop applications and easy install's. Use Linux for
more robust features and portability.

I would go back to Windoze too if I didn't want to learn an "easy to
understand concept of partitions". Why would you try to make Linux run
like Windslows. Just use Windows.

If you insist on banging your head against a block of ice, try Mandrake
10 (Official) arguably the most user-friendly Linux distro I've seen. My
~ wife and children use it. Very simple install and keeps the integrity
of the Linux distro's that we have grown to love.

HZS

Walter Schiessberg wrote:
| e7 wrote on 19.07.2004 17:58:
|
|> (E-Mail Removed) wrote:
|>
|>
|>> Originally posted on: 2002-08-21
|>>
|>> I would like a distro of Linux that is easy to install (with Windows
|>> on the same computer). I don't want to learn the easy to
|>> understand concept of partitions, such as primary, extended
|>> and logical. If I can't see them, they ain't there!
|>>
|>> I want this Linux distro to look and feel like Windows exactly.
|>>
|>> I want this Linux distro to be easily configured and installed
|>> (no brainer) like Windows.
|>
|>
|>
|> Try www.knoppix.com and download one CD and boot up
|> without installing software onto disk
|> fully working GNU/Linux.
|>
|> If you are student, search google for the Quantian DVD
|> variant as it has symbolic equation solver like xmaxima
|> and chemistry program like rasmol to view molecules.
|>
|
| Hmm there's at least one out there who missed the punch
|
| Walter
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Hakim Z. Singhji wrote on 20.07.2004 07:08:
> -----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
> Hash: SHA1
>
> Walter,
>
> I suggest you do more homework when looking into what OS you will
> operate from. If you want a desktop distro of linux only look at
> favored desktop flavor of which there are only a few. I you wish to use
> linux the same way someone would use Windows your problem is obvious.
> Use Winblows for desktop applications and easy install's. Use Linux for
> more robust features and portability.

I'm NOT the OP!
Please read before answering.
>
> I would go back to Windoze too if I didn't want to learn an "easy to
> understand concept of partitions". Why would you try to make Linux run
> like Windslows. Just use Windows.

Must be kind of reflex...

> If you insist on banging your head against a block of ice, try Mandrake
> 10 (Official) arguably the most user-friendly Linux distro I've seen. My
> ~ wife and children use it. Very simple install and keeps the integrity
> of the Linux distro's that we have grown to love.

Wee, the original post was meant to be funny, it even said so explicitly
on the last line. But some people just fall in to some routine or reflex
if they're reading about Windows being better than Linux.

Walter

--
Please don't top post!
You even don't have the excuse using Outlook.

(E-Mail Removed) wrote on 19.07.2004 05:25:

[Funny posting]
LOL
I've heard a lot of this in RL and in this NGs. But the reaction of some
is - errr - weird.

Walter

Walter Schiessberg wrote:

> Wee, the original post was meant to be funny, it even said so explicitly
> on the last line. But some people just fall in to some routine or reflex
> if they're reading about Windows being better than Linux.

And that is even funnier than the OP.

NR


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Mannn with all requirements that you listed ... I guess it goin to be
a very LONG WAY
On Sun, 18 Jul 2004 20:25:05 -0700, (E-Mail Removed) wrote:

>Originally posted on: 2002-08-21
>
>I would like a distro of Linux that is easy to install (with Windows
>on the same computer). I don't want to learn the easy to
>understand concept of partitions, such as primary, extended
>and logical. If I can't see them, they ain't there!
>
>I want this Linux distro to look and feel like Windows exactly.
>
>I want this Linux distro to be easily configured and installed
>(no brainer) like Windows.
>
>I want this Linux distro to be TOTALLY secure *cough like
>Windows. *wink *wink
>
>I want this Linux distro to be easily run with no documentation to
>read, since all those freakin' O'Reilly books are so God damn
>expensive, and the animals on the covers scare me.
>
>I want this Linux distro to recognize all my hardware, including
>my GeForce 4 video card. And if it doesn't I want someone to
>explain to me how to do this, since I don't want to go to the
>hardware homepage and actually do a search for the support
>page that tells me how to do this with Linux.
>
>I want this Linux distro to look all GUI for me, and I don't want
>to bother understanding the X Window System. Because that
>word, X Window System, makes me think of Windows and that
>gets me all excited and I get really confused.
>
>I want this Linux distro to come on one CD only, since Red Hat
>has like 5 ISO CDs and I'm too lazy to read the readme file to figure
>out which ones to download.
>
>I want this Linux distro to be easily run as a network but I don't
>want to know about any protocols, ip addressing, routers, switches,
>ipchains, iptables, or dns servers....But I consider myself an expert
>because I can telnet to a smtp server and send fake e-mail as
>(E-Mail Removed).
>
>I want this Linux distro to have open source software on it only,
>since closed source is evil. And I want this software to be
>completely supported by the vendor/author so I can complain
>when their free software doesn't work for me.
>
>I want this Linux distro to be fully supported by rpms, since .tar
>and .gz for that matter are funny to me and complicated to work
>with...and a Linux distro that doesn't require i386 and i686 stuff
>since I have a Dell.
>
>I want this Linux distro to be command line free. I mean, come
>on, which is it -help or --help or -h?!
>
>I want this Linux distro to be able to play my Windows games and
>run my Windows programs on it, and if WINE doesn't support them,
>I want to know the "secret" that all you Linux hackers know in order
>to run them. Come on, you guys know how!
>
>I want this Linux distro to be easily upgradeable to the newest and
>greatest kernel, even though I don't need it since I haven't installed
>any new hardware or software that isn't supported by the kernel I
>already use, and there are no known security issues with the
>current kernel I'm using...I still want to upgrade.
>
>I want this Linux distro to be the best distro out there, why? I don't
>know why or what I'm looking for exactly...I just want the best one
>out there....and I want it to look like Windows.
>
>
>
>Andrew
>www.wbglinks.net
>
>postscript: Yes, I'm bored and looking to waste time. And if you
>think I'm serious or this isn't funny, then go blow monkeys.