"Postwise": New Service from the Post Office

"Postwise": New Service from the Post Office
--------------------------------------------

In a controversial announcement today, the Post Office published plans
for 'Postwise', a new advertising system that will deliver targeted
advertising by reading the content of your letters.

Kent Parker CEO and Marketing/Privacy Director (known as 'Nosey' to
staff) said it was essential to improve the profitability of the Post
Office.

"Customers aren't willing to pay for a first class stamp anymore" he said.

The system will route all post through a warehouse full of trained
monkeys. The monkeys have been taught to open mail, find keywords of
interest, insert leaflets, and reseal the envelope using sticky tape.
"We're confident that the monkeys won't communicate the detail of the
letters they see".

"Customers have complained for years about the irrelevant junk mail they
receive, we think this service will enhance their experience of postal
services" he said.

As an added bonus the monkeys have been trained to recognise fraudulent
post, and eat it.

When we asked how confident he could be that the service would not
intrude on privacy, or lead to disruption, he said, "We are confident,
we've tried it twice already, so I see no reason why we couldn't get away
with it again".

Jim Plantain, a Post Office customer, said "We haven't received any post
for months".

The Post Office asked us to pass on apologies to members of the Curry,
Poor, McDonald, Bottom, Paddy, Hustler, Hoover, and Kawasaki families who
may have noticed an unusual rise in the level of junk mail received.

Customers of fruit retailers may have experienced damaged or incomplete
deliveries, and Mr. Parker promised the subscribers to 'What Banana?'
magazine will be fully compensated (though he declined to elaborate).

--
http://www.nodpi.org

Eddie R wrote:
> "Postwise": New Service from the Post Office
> --------------------------------------------
>
> In a controversial announcement today, the Post Office published plans
> for 'Postwise', a new advertising system that will deliver targeted
> advertising by reading the content of your letters.

It might have been funny, but how can they do it without opening your post,
which is illegal?!

0/10. Better luck next time.

--
Carl Waring
DigiGuide:
Full: http://getdigiguide.com/?p=1&r=1495
Web-based: http://getdigiguide.com/?p=3&r=1495

--
Graham.

%Profound_observation%
"Carl Waring" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in message
news:wnL1l.771$(E-Mail Removed)2...
> Eddie R wrote:
>> "Postwise": New Service from the Post Office
>> --------------------------------------------
>>
>> In a controversial announcement today, the Post Office published plans
>> for 'Postwise', a new advertising system that will deliver targeted
>> advertising by reading the content of your letters.
>
> It might have been funny, but how can they do it without opening your
> post, which is illegal?!
>
> 0/10. Better luck next time.
>
> --
> Carl Waring
> DigiGuide:
> Full: http://getdigiguide.com/?p=1&r=1495
> Web-based: http://getdigiguide.com/?p=3&r=1495
>

Carl Waring wrote:
> Eddie R wrote:
>> "Postwise": New Service from the Post Office
>> --------------------------------------------
>>
>> In a controversial announcement today, the Post Office published plans
>> for 'Postwise', a new advertising system that will deliver targeted
>> advertising by reading the content of your letters.
>
> It might have been funny, but how can they do it without opening your post,
> which is illegal?!
>
> 0/10. Better luck next time.
>

And you think that intercepting web content without consent isn't illegal ?
The only things that are different are the willingness to prosecute, and
the clarity of the law.

John

In article <wnL1l.771$(E-Mail Removed)2>, Carl Waring
<(E-Mail Removed)> writes
>Eddie R wrote:
>> "Postwise": New Service from the Post Office
>> --------------------------------------------
>>
>> In a controversial announcement today, the Post Office published plans
>> for 'Postwise', a new advertising system that will deliver targeted
>> advertising by reading the content of your letters.
>
>It might have been funny, but how can they do it without opening your post,
>which is illegal?!
>
>0/10. Better luck next time.
>

So, I'll get targeted admail after the GPO reads the admail I get?

--
John Clark

On 16 Dec, 09:53, "Carl Waring" <em...@carlDASHwaring.co.uk> wrote:

> Eddie R wrote:
> > "Postwise": New Service from the Post Office
> > --------------------------------------------
>
> > In a controversial announcement today, the Post Office published plans
> > for 'Postwise', a new advertising system that will deliver targeted
> > advertising by reading the content of your letters.
>
> It might have been funny, but how can they do it without opening your post,
> which is illegal?!
>
> 0/10. Better luck next time.
>

Whoosh.

"Mizter T" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in message
news:2cb42f33-7282-4a20-9e07-(E-Mail Removed)...
>
> On 16 Dec, 09:53, "Carl Waring" <em...@carlDASHwaring.co.uk> wrote:
>
>> Eddie R wrote:
>> > "Postwise": New Service from the Post Office
>> > --------------------------------------------
>>
>> > In a controversial announcement today, the Post Office published plans
>> > for 'Postwise', a new advertising system that will deliver targeted
>> > advertising by reading the content of your letters.
>>
>> It might have been funny, but how can they do it without opening your
>> post,
>> which is illegal?!
>>
>> 0/10. Better luck next time.
>>
>
> Whoosh.

I was wondering who was going to be the first to say that. ;-)

Tim

"Tim Downie" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in message
news:(E-Mail Removed)...
>
> "Mizter T" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in message
> news:2cb42f33-7282-4a20-9e07-(E-Mail Removed)...
>>
>> On 16 Dec, 09:53, "Carl Waring" <em...@carlDASHwaring.co.uk> wrote:
>>
>>> Eddie R wrote:
>>> > "Postwise": New Service from the Post Office
>>> > --------------------------------------------
>>>
>>> > In a controversial announcement today, the Post Office published plans
>>> > for 'Postwise', a new advertising system that will deliver targeted
>>> > advertising by reading the content of your letters.
>>>
>>> It might have been funny, but how can they do it without opening your
>>> post,
>>> which is illegal?!
>>>
>>> 0/10. Better luck next time.
>>>
>>
>> Whoosh.
>
> I was wondering who was going to be the first to say that. ;-)
>
> Tim

Yep - comes under the same haeading as a very gullible friend of my
daughter's, who one day came out with:
"Do you know, I've just heard that they've just taken the word 'gullible'
out of the dictionary".
;-)

George

In article <(E-Mail Removed)>,
George Weston <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote:

>"Do you know, I've just heard that they've just taken the word 'gullible'
>out of the dictionary".

One of the Oxford dictionaries (a pocket one) came with a printed slip
apologising for the fact that "misspell" was misspelt as "mispell".

I am not making this up.

-- Richard
--
Please remember to mention me / in tapes you leave behind.

In uk.telecom, Richard Tobin wrote:
>In article <(E-Mail Removed)>,
>George Weston <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote:
>
>>"Do you know, I've just heard that they've just taken the word 'gullible'
>>out of the dictionary".
>
>One of the Oxford dictionaries (a pocket one) came with a printed slip
>apologising for the fact that "misspell" was misspelt as "mispell".
>
>I am not making this up.

I'm sure you're not. I'm not making this one up either:

http://alt-usage-english.org/illitterate.html

--
Mike Barnes