intermittent "not responding" of "Internet Gateway"

I have a minor and intermittent networking problem. This
laptop (with WinME) networks and shares the DSL connection
of our home's desktop computer with WinXP. Sometimes when
I start up the laptop, the "Internet Gateway: Connected"
icon doesn't show up in the system tray. When this
happens, I can't use MSN Messenger, and Explorer will
freeze if I open the control panel (end tasking it will
bring explorer back, but then it's even more crippled.)
I've experienced no other serious problems when the icon
doesn't show up. I can use all other internet related
programs perfectly, and the connection is there, even
without the icon. If it weren't for the control panel
freezing, I would think it was something wrong with my
installation of the Microsoft .NET stuff. Also, when this
happens, I reboot the computer to get the icon showing up
again (and it may or may not take multiple reboots.) When
I reboot in this situation, it complains that "Internet
Gateway" is not responding, so I have to click "End Task"
before it will restart. So the problem *seems* to be in
the Internet Gateway, but how do I fix it? Or is there a
patch?