Buying from clarity.it

I've made five orders from Clarity.it over recent years and their
deliveries are always lamentably slow and this time I emailed an enquiry
about the delay.

"I know from several previous orders that speed of delivery is not your
strong point, but it would be appreciated if this one could be shipped
no later than tomorrow as it is required for a job this coming weekend."

It was ignored and their proud boast on their web site is that they
don't allow telephone enquiries as email is so much more efficient. The
enquiry was ignored too so a couple of days later I sent a mild
rebuke...

"If you don't offer customers the courtesy of telephone communication
you should at least provide a swift email response. Your attitude to
customers is nothing short of disgraceful."

This brought forth a presumably drunken tirade which may amuse you. I'm
hoping it will amuse the Trading Standards people at clarity's local
authority too.

Enjoy.

Are you bloody kidding? I can't believe the cheek of this!

Let me get this straight. You mailed to tell us, not ASK, that you
wanted
your stuff fast.

Well that's great, thanks for telling us you'd appreciate your stuff
fast -
I dare say that's actually kind of an assumed default for everybody who
joins the queue though, so well done there for taking the time to write
and
tell us what's pretty much the prevailing customer desire. And ours too.
I
mean, do you think we're sitting around drinking coffee all day? That by
telling us you'd like it quick that some factor can be changed to alter
the
physics of time needed to pack and ship everybody?

I noticed the absence of a question mark in your mail, thus no reply was
called for.

Jovial nicety mail to say "thank you for telling us that, take your
place in
the queue like everyone else" or as it would have been, "ok, I've pulled
a
string and shunted you up the queue" is currently unavaiable because it
woul
djust take up time which is needed, without dilution, to help with
packing
and shipping right now. I'm the only one who's checking for e-mails at
the
moment, and to be blunt sometimes it's just not as important as getting
people's gear out to them.

And your litttle quip about no telephone service = fast email response.
WELL TRY ASKING A BLOODY QUESTION THEN.

So because nobody mailed back to say "yes SIR, let's get you jumped up
that
queue there" we now have disgraceful customer service? Disgraceful? How
dare you. It's not often I let something get to me but I am actually
bloody
furious with this.

But you know what? Here's the horrible irony. Despite being totally
snowed
under, and note here's me working e-mails at THIS hour as a little
evidence
of how heavy it is, I did actually alter physics and cheated for you. I
felt helpful when I read it and said "what the heck, nobody will know"
so I
jumped you up the queue for despatch tomorrow. But look what happens.
You
do your bit. You do your best for some people. But they turn out to just
be impatient twitchy gits who expect hoops jumped through and rant and
rave
unless their butts are kissed. Well not with Clarity. I haven't kissed a
butt since I wasted my time in retail, and I never will again. I won;t
miss
the business because I don't want the bother and stress that comes with
it
for me or my people.

To be honest I'd like to terminate and refund this order and wave you on
your way. I never have and never will tolerate nonsense from anyone who
wants to trade with Clarity. My finger's been hovering over the
Terminate
button for the last ten minutes, but it occurs to me that if I did I
might
knacker your weekend cabling plans - and despite my fury I'm not going
to be
nasty just for the hell of it. As it stands it'll go out around noon
tomorrow unless told otherwise by then, but you please feel free to
cancel
it and I'll run that refund personally.

Also, to be teeth-grittingly helpful, if you want it sent Special
Delivery
for an 80% chance of saturday delivery, state so and that we can add £3
to
your payment card.

There's MY rant. Hope you liked it. Disgraceful indeed.

Bye bye.

John Doyle
Director & Operations
Clarity

Malcolm Knight wrote:

> I've made five orders from Clarity.it over recent years and their
> deliveries are always lamentably slow and this time I emailed an enquiry
> about the delay.

And by coincidence we placed an order with them recently - which has
still not arrived and no notification of any possible dates. I was
actually going to email them today but under the circumstances I will
let them work on your order first today - I only need my stuff for next
Wednesday :-)

Let's hope the staff are not too under the weather and get your order
and mine out correctly - eventually.

I think we had decided not to use them again anyway - despite your
posting. All previous orders have taken a long time to arrive!

Malcolm Knight wrote:
> I've made five orders from Clarity.it over recent years and their
> deliveries are always lamentably slow and this time I emailed an enquiry
> about the delay.
>
> "I know from several previous orders that speed of delivery is not your
> strong point, but it would be appreciated if this one could be shipped
> no later than tomorrow as it is required for a job this coming weekend."

That's not an enquiry. That's a statement. As far as I can see,
everything John said is accurate and to-the-point.

Perhaps some remedial English classes to help you differentiate between
a statement and a question would be in order? (hint - that was a
question, albeit a rhetorical one)

--
Gareth Halfacree
http://gareth.halfacree.co.uk

Malcolm Knight wrote:

> This brought forth a presumably drunken tirade which may amuse you. I'm
> hoping it will amuse the Trading Standards people at clarity's local
> authority too.

Did you remember the terms & conditions on their website
(http://www.clarity.it/terms.htm) - which include this:-

"Humour
We also write our site in a light-hearted and hopefully entertaining
way. Anyone choosing to do business with us is expected to appreciate
occasional sarcasm, irony, and outright world-class wit. People with No
Sense Of Humour should therefore not trade with us in case they fail to
understand our wording, or take humorous writings seriously. This is how
we choose to work and live, so either accept and support that or don't
do business with us. Smiling and laughter helps keep you young, and
extends your life. We can't back that up with paperwork, but we think
it's true."

Perhaps they have invoked this clause in your case?

And also regarding delivery:-

"Delivery

Time
We aim to have your goodies sent within two working days of your order
date at most. We usually manage that, indeed most often it's sent out
same or next day. However, it's important that you understand that we
are NOT a fully manned and equipped mail order box-shifting warehouse,
and that processing, packing, and shipping of orders can and does vary
depending on available manpower, and surges in order volumes. Please
therefore allow up to 5 WORKING days for despatch. If for any reason
it's likely to take any longer, we should be aware well in advance of
that timescale and be able to advise you and check that you still wish
to keep your order active."

Gareth Halfacree wrote:

>> I've made five orders from Clarity.it over recent years and their
>> deliveries are always lamentably slow and this time I emailed an
>> enquiry about the delay.
>>
>> "I know from several previous orders that speed of delivery is not
>> your strong point, but it would be appreciated if this one could be
>> shipped no later than tomorrow as it is required for a job this coming
>> weekend."
>
> That's not an enquiry. That's a statement. As far as I can see,
> everything John said is accurate and to-the-point.

We would take it as an enquiry which required a reply - at least in my
firm we read a little deeper.

"Gareth Halfacree" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in message
news:(E-Mail Removed)...
> Malcolm Knight wrote:
>> I've made five orders from Clarity.it over recent years and their
>> deliveries are always lamentably slow and this time I emailed an
>> enquiry about the delay.
>>
>> "I know from several previous orders that speed of delivery is not
>> your strong point, but it would be appreciated if this one could be
>> shipped no later than tomorrow as it is required for a job this
>> coming weekend."
>
> That's not an enquiry. That's a statement. As far as I can see,
> everything John said is accurate and to-the-point.

Agreed it was a statement, merely a low-key comment about the delay
which Clarity chose to ignore. Their belief that they are at liberty to
break the contract after taking the money has been brought to the
attention of the Trading Standards office so that guidance can be given.
--
Malcolm

In message <(E-Mail Removed)>, Malcolm Knight
<(E-Mail Removed)> writes
>This brought forth a presumably drunken tirade which may amuse you. I'm
>hoping it will amuse the Trading Standards people at clarity's local
>authority too.

What have Trading Standards got to do with it?

By your own admission you have ordered from Clarity before and you know
they're slow. You still placed your - needed by the weekend - order with
them. You complain (not enquire) twice in a few days and then get a
comprehensive, but also amusing, response from their Director &(of?)
Operations telling you he's bumped you up the queue and suggesting SD is
available to you also. You're then not happy and post to usenet. Sad.

--
dave @ stejonda

In message <(E-Mail Removed)>, Malcolm Knight
<(E-Mail Removed)> writes
>"Gareth Halfacree" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in message
>news:(E-Mail Removed)...
>> Malcolm Knight wrote:
>>> I've made five orders from Clarity.it over recent years and their
>>> deliveries are always lamentably slow and this time I emailed an
>>> enquiry about the delay.
>>>
>>> "I know from several previous orders that speed of delivery is not
>>> your strong point, but it would be appreciated if this one could be
>>> shipped no later than tomorrow as it is required for a job this
>>> coming weekend."
>>
>> That's not an enquiry. That's a statement. As far as I can see,
>> everything John said is accurate and to-the-point.
>
>Agreed it was a statement, merely a low-key comment about the delay
>which Clarity chose to ignore. Their belief that they are at liberty to
>break the contract after taking the money has been brought to the
>attention of the Trading Standards office so that guidance can be given.

There is also this clause in their T&Cs "We reserve the absolute right
to decline to supply to any individual who we feel does not exhibit a
suitable level of intelligence or attitude. We do not need to explain
why, and this is at the final and total discretion of the management."

--
dave @ stejonda

dave @ stejonda wrote:

>> Agreed it was a statement, merely a low-key comment about the delay
>> which Clarity chose to ignore. Their belief that they are at liberty to
>> break the contract after taking the money has been brought to the
>> attention of the Trading Standards office so that guidance can be given.

> There is also this clause in their T&Cs "We reserve the absolute right
> to decline to supply to any individual who we feel does not exhibit a
> suitable level of intelligence or attitude. We do not need to explain
> why, and this is at the final and total discretion of the management."

If the money has been taken for the order then Clarity have not declined
to supply - and there may indeed be a case for involving Trading Standards.

On Fri, 6 Oct 2006 10:08:21 +0100, "dave @ stejonda"
<(E-Mail Removed)> wrote:

>There is also this clause in their T&Cs "We reserve the absolute right
>to decline to supply to any individual who we feel does not exhibit a
>suitable level of intelligence or attitude. We do not need to explain
>why, and this is at the final and total discretion of the management."

I like it :-)

/me adds clarity to list of suppliers "with a clue"

Having said that I think the company rant is a bit OTT.

Putting a private email in a newsgroup is more than a bit OTT however
so the OP finds himself in my killfile ;-)
--
John Naismith